Spring Thoughts

I had a wonderful Easter and I hope that everyone else did too.  I enjoyed so many things about this Easter break that I was unable to enjoy last year.  To be honest, I don't even remember much from last year.  But this year was different.  I was back to being present in my children's lives.  We must have dyed eggs last year, but I don't remember doing so.  There are no pictures.  I know that this year is the first year that my three year old was able to dye them.  I know that sounds crazy, but he is allergic to eggs, and this was the first year that he was able to touch them without having a reaction.  When he dunked his egg into the dye and it came out blue, he was wide eyed and said, "It's a miracle!"  I was so happy to be there when he got to experience the shock and excitement of dying an egg blue.  It felt like a miracle to me too, but for such a different reason.  Last year at this time, I was in such a mess both physically and emotionally.  I felt as if my world had come undone.  I was Humpty Dumpty, who was broken and could never be put back together again.  I do remember crying my eyes out last Easter after a big family celebration.  I remember feeling sadder than sad.  And then in the middle of my meltdown, we had a good sized earthquake.  That's all.  I don't remember dying eggs, or hunting for them.  I didn't go to church, or dress the kids up.  I don't remember the kids at all.  It's like my mind erased them.  Creepy really.  But this year was different.  All fun, smiles, and joy.  Just the way that life should be.