Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Best Thing We Never Planned

I know it's been a long time since I posted.  I just couldn't do it because so many things were happening in my life.  Good things.  Things that required my full and complete attention.  I had no energy to look to the past, or  to mistakes, or to talk of things that made me remember sadness or grief.

There seemed to be a change in my atmosphere, one of understanding, where myself and my husband became more in tune with each other's needs.  It's so hard to explain the energy that went on in our household in the fall of 2011, but it was loving, peaceful and all things good.  We came together, the two of us,  both  knowing, and even hoping for another chance at creating life.  And Thanksgiving morning when my planned monthly visitor didn't show, I tested and found that I was once again pregnant.  When I told my husband the news, he said simply, "I've been waiting for you to tell me.  I've known all month this was coming."  He kissed me, and smiled broadly in a way that let me know that this time, things would be different.  We were cautiously optimistic about all of it.  So, I simply dropped writing, or thinking for that matter.  We both just hoped and prayed.  It's funny how I felt the need to coo coon myself at this time, and even hubby seemed extra careful to shield me from the rest of the world, as if that would somehow protect the new life growing within.  I had many early ultrasounds that didn't prove to be hopeful, but we finally had one that showed the shape of our little one.  Doctors didn't have much faith in my ability to carry this child at the ripe old age of 41, but I insulated myself from their remarks, and through faith and grace continued to carry my little one.

Here is the 13 week scan:

Look at the tiny features already apparent.  Nothing short of miraculous in my book.  

Now, I as I am typing this I am 21wks pregnant.  I have had the big anatomy scan, and all looked well.  My heart is overjoyed with love for my child, and for my husband who somehow understood, well, everything.

Here is the latest ultrasound:

Kind of a grainy profile, but beautiful in my book.  We had a hard time seeing the gender, but it was thought to be a girl.  We don't care either way.  

God is definitely good and gives us our hearts desire.  So, pregnancy can happen again in us old gals with a tubal reversal!  I'm proof.  Blessings to you all, I have mine right here inside of me.  :)