Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Peace, Love and Understanding
I have to give a big pat on the back to my husband. He is a wonderful man, a loving father and husband. He has been my biggest support through thick and thin, for better and for worse. The aftermath of my tubal ligation definitely falls under the "for worse" category. Neither one of us was prepared for what was to lie ahead in our lives. I know there were times when he was truly concerned that I had gone off the deep end. (In truth, I thought I HAD gone off the deep end) He couldn't understand what I was going through at first. I couldn't understand why he didn't care. He thought it was just pregnancy hormones, that when I stopped breastfeeding that my anxiety and depression would stop. He thought I needed time to heal, that the damage had already been done. He held the family together, while I fell apart. He tried to understand, and once I began to explain to him that I wasn't the only one who was effected by a tubal ligation he came to realize that there was a problem. He worked hard to pay for tests we couldn't afford. He held me when I shook and cried. He put his arms around me when I needed it, and would tell me it was going to be ok.
When I realized that I had filshie clips inside of me, it sealed the deal for a tubal reversal in my mind. I didn't want anything foreign in me, and he didn't like the idea of me having them inside anymore then I did. He did everything in his power to make the reversal happen for me. He was the first person I laid my eyes on when I woke up from reversal surgery, and I knew that not only was this ordeal over for me, but it was over for him as well. He took awesome care of me after surgery, and has been loving every step of the way.
Now, it is my husband who tells others not to have their tubes tied. He was recently working with a pregnant woman who commented that after her second child was born that she was having a tubal. He told her what happened to me, told her to look up Post Tubal Ligation Syndrome, and how we just spent our tax return on my tubal reversal surgery. She of course had never heard of any complications before. I felt such a swell of pride and love for my husband as he told me this story. Nobody warned me, or tried to save me. I so wish someone had. But maybe, just maybe, his words gave her pause enough to look up PTLS and decide whether it was worth the risk. He may have just saved this woman a lot of pain and heartache. He may have just ensured that her children will have the loving, happy mom they were meant to have. And he also may have saved a marriage that might not have been strong enough to withstand the horrors that PTLS can bring.
So, I am proud of my husband for trying to save another woman from the pain that I have been through. Thankful that he was the one understanding soul, that recognized a part of me had been taken away during the tubal ligation. And so very grateful to him, for working so hard to make sure we had enough money for my tubal reversal surgery. The love that I feel for him is beyond measure. The reversal has brought us both a sense of peace. I wish peace and blessings for those of you who long for a tubal reversal. I hope that your partner is as loving as mine was. Share with him what you are going through. It you don't tell him, he won't know. Having a loving supportive partner made all the difference to me, and it will to you too. Blessings to all.