The Great Sperm Race

Ok, let me just say that I think this is the coolest video.  There are six parts to this series on You Tube and it takes about twenty minutes to watch them all.  It really reinforces how very special each and every one of us are.  We are after all, the winners!

The Great Sperm Race

Mellow with Magnesium

I found out an interesting fact that magnesium is thought to keep the fallopian tubes relaxed, facilitating the travel of sperm to meet the egg.  It also can calm the uterus which encourages implantation.  The suggested dosage to get this effect is 750 mg daily.  This is an easy and safe addition to add to your supplements if you are trying to conceive after a reversal.  It also makes me wonder if it wouldn't help with pain after having your tubes tied since the fallopian tubes are muscular structures.  Maybe relieving some of the tension will help to relieve the pain.  You can also find magnesium in seaweed, cacao, leafy greens, nuts and seeds.   Blessings to you all.

Oh where, oh where did my progesterone go? Tubal ligation and Low Progesterone...

After I had my tubal, I had a huge, no HUGE, hormonal upset.  My body freaked out.  I didn't understand it at the time, I thought I was going crazy.  But the reality was I was in hormone shock.  My progesterone levels had fallen and they couldn't get up.  The only "life alert" button my body had was to make me feel with full intensity that SOMETHING was WRONG that needed my full and complete attention NOW.  It was on the advice of a kind women on a message board that I tried natural progesterone cream.  Desperate, I bought the first cream that I found without looking anything else up.  I didn't have time.  I was drowning in hormonal imbalance, and I needed air (progesterone) fast.

The cream did seem to help me a little bit.  Then, I wanted to know why.  Research shows that when we are pregnant, progesterone increases up to 300% of our usual levels.  It is one of the hormones that help us maintain the pregnancy.  Then, after birth we have a sudden drop in our hormones, and it is that drop that ultimately causes those darn baby blues.   Once our hormone levels stabilize, we begin to feel more like our old selves.  Now, imagine having the baby blues that never go away.  It could be depression, but it could also be a sign that you are deficient in progesterone.  Many research studies show that women who have a tubal ligation will have decreased rates of progesterone production.  For some women this takes a year or more to stabilize, although never reaching their pre-sterilization levels.  Usually, they end up with only one third of the production that they used to have.  This has to do with the changes in blood flow to the ovaries.

Progesterone can help:

• Protect against breast, endometrial, and ovarian cancer.
• Normalizes libido
• Helps stop hair loss, and encourages regrowth
• Improves new bone formation
• Restores normal sleep patterns
• Helps thyroid function
• Relieves PMS

Progesterone works primarily by being the opposition to excess estrogen.  It helps to maintain the balance within the body.  And anyone who has had a tubal and is suffering from it with PTLS knows that you feel out of balance.  Many of the excess estrogen symptoms are the same as the list of PTLS symptoms.  Now, I am not saying that all everyone needs is some natural progesterone.  While it did help me with some of my symptoms, it really just made them easier to manage.  It didn't take them away.  At that point in my life, I was willing to take any help that I could get, and any relief was appreciated.  

Here is a link to the product that is reputable:












And if you would like it pre measured for you...














Please keep in mind, that I don't have stock in this company.  I am not trying to sell you anything.  I just want to let those of you know, who are waiting for a reversal and suffering, that this can help ease some of the problems that women encounter with a tubal ligation.  Ultimately, what helped me was my tubal reversal.  I am in awe at how good I feel.  And I am now making more progesterone again, but I still keep the cream on hand after finding out the benefits of having a balanced estrogen / progesterone ratio.  A great book to read is What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause by John R. Lee.
 I found out so much information in this book that really pertained to the hormonal issues that I was suffering with the TL.  It is written for those who are 30-50 years old, but it would be an interesting read for those of you who are younger.  I found my copy at the local library.  It is worth a read if you have the time.  Hope you all have a wonderful, hormonally balanced day.  Blessings :)

Hello Out There?? Anyone with Filshie Clips??

Hi everyone.  I am hoping that some of you can help me out.  I am looking for those of you who have or had filshie clips used in your tubal ligation.  I am in the process of writing an article that I hope to persuade a more main stream magazine to run.  I am looking for your experience with filshie clips, if you feel they caused you pain, if you got them without knowing that was what they were using, or if your clips fell off and/or migrated to another part of your body.  Basically, I am looking for any experience with the filshie clips, good or bad.  It is my sincere desire to get the word out about PTLS and about the misinformation about sterilization.  Please help me by relaying your experiences and thoughts on the subject.  Thank you for your help!

Spring Thoughts

I had a wonderful Easter and I hope that everyone else did too.  I enjoyed so many things about this Easter break that I was unable to enjoy last year.  To be honest, I don't even remember much from last year.  But this year was different.  I was back to being present in my children's lives.  We must have dyed eggs last year, but I don't remember doing so.  There are no pictures.  I know that this year is the first year that my three year old was able to dye them.  I know that sounds crazy, but he is allergic to eggs, and this was the first year that he was able to touch them without having a reaction.  When he dunked his egg into the dye and it came out blue, he was wide eyed and said, "It's a miracle!"  I was so happy to be there when he got to experience the shock and excitement of dying an egg blue.  It felt like a miracle to me too, but for such a different reason.  Last year at this time, I was in such a mess both physically and emotionally.  I felt as if my world had come undone.  I was Humpty Dumpty, who was broken and could never be put back together again.  I do remember crying my eyes out last Easter after a big family celebration.  I remember feeling sadder than sad.  And then in the middle of my meltdown, we had a good sized earthquake.  That's all.  I don't remember dying eggs, or hunting for them.  I didn't go to church, or dress the kids up.  I don't remember the kids at all.  It's like my mind erased them.  Creepy really.  But this year was different.  All fun, smiles, and joy.  Just the way that life should be.

Happy Re-Birthday to Me!

My tubal reversal date fell exactly 6 months after my real birthday.  On my original birthday I was given life, thanks to God and my Mom.  I had a beautiful, amazing life filled with love and laughter, hope and joy.  I had the tubal ligation and all of the good I felt in my life disappeared.  And then my re-birthday came on February 18th, 2011.  I told my husband that the TR surgery was like giving birth to myself. I got the calm, happy person back that I used to be, along with the smarter and wiser person that I had to become after having the TL. The reversal was the best decision that I could have made for myself. I know I will never regret being restored to the whole and happy self that I used to be.

So, in honor of spring, a beautiful season of birth and renewal, I am going to celebrate my own joy at being whole.  I am going to take time off until after Easter to enjoy this religious season and ponder the implications of a God that so loved the world......

I am going to dye Easter eggs and not once worry about my own eggs or whether I am ovulating.  I am only going to worry about the temperature in the backyard, and not the temperature of my body.  I am going to enjoy everything I ingest, including peeps, and I am not going to worry that I have forgotten to take my supplements.  I am going to laugh and play and take a week to not think about any of the things that have plagued my mind for the last few years.  I am promising my family that at 3:15 when I pick up my children from school that I will not utter, or even think the words, tubal, ligation, reversal, ovulation, ptls, or even the word hormone.  They are all out of my vocabulary at least for the next 8 days or so.  I am choosing instead to focus my time and energy on the many miracles in my life.  And while I'm at it I might just have a chocolate bunny or two.....

Blessing to all.  Happy Spring!

Second Chance at Motherhood

It's not often in life that we get a chance to be able to right something we consider is wrong.  Most mistakes we make we just have to learn from, and then pick ourselves up and move on.  I, like most women understood the permanence of the tubal ligation when I signed the form.  I didn't sign it thinking that it would do for now, until I was ready to "untie" the tubes and have another child.  Sadly, some doctors are promoting certain types of ligation as "more reversible" than others.  This sets up the idea that the tubal ligation isn't permanent.  And for some this may be true.  It all depends on how the original ligation was performed, and how much damage has been caused.

For many women, tubal reversal surgery is that second chance at motherhood they were hoping for.  The chance to right the wrong.  None of us know what life can bring us, and for many this means new loves, more money, or a safer situation.  I totally understand the desire to have a child ( or another) with the love of your life.  That longing to feel another life growing and moving inside of you is intense.  It's just that's not why I had my reversal.  I actually already had my shot at a second chance.

When my husband and I were first married we enjoyed each others company.  We waited for five years before having our first child.  Two years later, the second one followed.  It was honestly all a blur.  The first two were both girls, and life was easy, sharing clothes and shoes.  We had both agreed to two kiddos when we were married, so after two were born, it was assumed we were done.  I was sad that it was over so quickly.  Boom.   Just like that.  Pregnant, pregnant, Done!  But I was exhausted and I rationalized that this was all I could ever handle.  I considered permanent measures then because I couldn't imagine having any energy for more children, and I also couldn't foresee a future with a bigger house or more money.  I guess I thought that life would just pretty much stay the same.  But deep down, I knew I wasn't ready for anything permanent.

So many things changed over the course of the years.  My hubby began making more money.  We sold the house we had been renovating for far more of a profit than we had ever thought imaginable thanks to an outrageously booming economy.  We moved on up, so to speak.  At this point both of my girls were in school and I went back to work teaching.  I had a new appreciation for my ability to handle children.  After all, if I could handle a class of 25 kindergartners, couldn't I handle three children of my own?   The biological clock began to tick, and then tock, and then when I continued to ignore it,  it started to gong.  I begged my husband for another child.  I knew that the third would be a boy, and I wanted the experience of raising a son.  My loving husband finally gave in, and we conceived our son.  He was ten years younger than the first and eight years younger than the second.  I felt fabulous.  I felt complete.  I now had everything I could have wanted from life.  I always pictured myself with three kids, and now they were all accounted for.  In my mind, this was my second chance.  My chance to experience the joys of pregnancy again.  My second pregnancy was a blur since I was still taking care of a baby while being pregnant with the second.  But for my third pregnancy I paid attention.  I knew it would be my last.  I noted every detail, every joy, every pain, every test, every little thing.  I felt outrageously blessed. 

Not long after my son turned 18 months, I found out I was pregnant again.  You would have thought that I would have been elated.  But I wasn't.  All of those memories of trying to take care of two little ones in diapers flooded my brain.  I cried.  I wanted to be the best mom I could be to my son.  I wanted to give him all the attention he deserved.  But as soon as I saw the fourth baby on the ultrasound, flipping and flopping around everything changed.  It was too early to tell the sex, but I knew she was a girl.  I was in love.  When we found out for sure that we were having a daughter I think I was momentarily disappointed because I thought of how fun it would be for my son to have a brother to run around with.  But at the same time I was so relieved.  Boys, in my opinion, are hard work.  So much more active than girls.  I knew for sure at that point this would be my last pregnancy.  Four was a big family, and four was enough.  And for goodness sake, my uterus was damn tired.  It was after all, 39 years old. 

So, now I have started all over again.  Two small children, diapers, potty training, sippy cups, baby locks, and all of the other things that I never thought I would need again.  I love it.  I wouldn't trade it for the world.  When I just had my girls, I was a little jealous of my friends who had one of each sex.  Now, I get to know what that life is like.  When people see us together, they automatically assume that either my husband or  I have remarried.  The first two look so much like him, so they assume that they are his girls, and the last two are our children.  I understand the assumption because there is a ten year gap between the first and the third, and the second and the fourth.  I like to joke with people that it is my second family with my first husband. 
In all honesty, it is kind of like having the experience of three families.  The first family had two girls, the second had four kids, and because my oldest will graduate high school before the youngest will start kindergarten, the third family will be back to two kids, only this time one of each.  Pretty cool.  A three-fer-one. 

So, please understand when  you ask if I had the reversal to have more children, the answer is no.  I am so happy with my family.  I had the reversal to get back the one family member that was missing: ME.  The tubal ligation took me away from my babies.  It took me away from my husband.  It robbed me of my sanity, my hope, my joy.  Ptls sucks in so many ways.  But, in a way I did get to have a second chance at motherhood.  It was having the ability to give my last baby a chance to know the real me.  The one without intense anxiety, the one who didn't cry all the time, the one who could take pleasure in her beautiful smile.  So, I did give birth again.  I just gave birth to the new me.  Mom 2.0, Smarter, Wiser, and Pain Free!  It's just the second chance I needed.

It is my sincere prayer that every woman who wants to have a reversal will have the means to do so.  I hope that all of you have the chance to give birth again, whether it is to a new soul, or to a new pain free version of yourself.  And for those of you who are pregnant right now after a reversal, an extra sprinkling of sticky baby dust to you.  Blessings to all.