Oh where, oh where did my progesterone go? Tubal ligation and Low Progesterone...

After I had my tubal, I had a huge, no HUGE, hormonal upset.  My body freaked out.  I didn't understand it at the time, I thought I was going crazy.  But the reality was I was in hormone shock.  My progesterone levels had fallen and they couldn't get up.  The only "life alert" button my body had was to make me feel with full intensity that SOMETHING was WRONG that needed my full and complete attention NOW.  It was on the advice of a kind women on a message board that I tried natural progesterone cream.  Desperate, I bought the first cream that I found without looking anything else up.  I didn't have time.  I was drowning in hormonal imbalance, and I needed air (progesterone) fast.

The cream did seem to help me a little bit.  Then, I wanted to know why.  Research shows that when we are pregnant, progesterone increases up to 300% of our usual levels.  It is one of the hormones that help us maintain the pregnancy.  Then, after birth we have a sudden drop in our hormones, and it is that drop that ultimately causes those darn baby blues.   Once our hormone levels stabilize, we begin to feel more like our old selves.  Now, imagine having the baby blues that never go away.  It could be depression, but it could also be a sign that you are deficient in progesterone.  Many research studies show that women who have a tubal ligation will have decreased rates of progesterone production.  For some women this takes a year or more to stabilize, although never reaching their pre-sterilization levels.  Usually, they end up with only one third of the production that they used to have.  This has to do with the changes in blood flow to the ovaries.

Progesterone can help:

• Protect against breast, endometrial, and ovarian cancer.
• Normalizes libido
• Helps stop hair loss, and encourages regrowth
• Improves new bone formation
• Restores normal sleep patterns
• Helps thyroid function
• Relieves PMS

Progesterone works primarily by being the opposition to excess estrogen.  It helps to maintain the balance within the body.  And anyone who has had a tubal and is suffering from it with PTLS knows that you feel out of balance.  Many of the excess estrogen symptoms are the same as the list of PTLS symptoms.  Now, I am not saying that all everyone needs is some natural progesterone.  While it did help me with some of my symptoms, it really just made them easier to manage.  It didn't take them away.  At that point in my life, I was willing to take any help that I could get, and any relief was appreciated.  

Here is a link to the product that is reputable:












And if you would like it pre measured for you...














Please keep in mind, that I don't have stock in this company.  I am not trying to sell you anything.  I just want to let those of you know, who are waiting for a reversal and suffering, that this can help ease some of the problems that women encounter with a tubal ligation.  Ultimately, what helped me was my tubal reversal.  I am in awe at how good I feel.  And I am now making more progesterone again, but I still keep the cream on hand after finding out the benefits of having a balanced estrogen / progesterone ratio.  A great book to read is What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause by John R. Lee.
 I found out so much information in this book that really pertained to the hormonal issues that I was suffering with the TL.  It is written for those who are 30-50 years old, but it would be an interesting read for those of you who are younger.  I found my copy at the local library.  It is worth a read if you have the time.  Hope you all have a wonderful, hormonally balanced day.  Blessings :)

Breastfeeding and Tubal Reversal

Ok, so I know you are reading the title and you are thinking, don't you mean breastfeeding and tubal ligation?  Nope.  Here's my story, it's a little weird, but true. (And pretty amazing to me!)

I gave birth to my daughter in December of 2009.  She is my fourth and I had breastfed all of the others with no problem what so ever.  If there was a problem, it was that I had more milk then my babies could possibly handle, and I always had to have pads in my bra.  My husband's running joke was that I wanted to feed not only our baby, but all of the hungry babies in the world.  Sometimes it was uncomfortable, but I liked knowing I could pump out a large bottle on a moments notice.  And I loved that I didn't have to buy formula.  And then the fourth was born by c-section, and I had the tubal done. 

The fourth was a hungry little baby.  A natural nurser straight away, she nursed, and nursed, and nursed.  I waited for the milk to come in, and when it did, it was shocking.  There really wasn't hardly any milk to be had.  Here I had this baby attached to my boobs constantly since birth, and there wasn't much milk.  It didn't make any sense.  The baby was checked to make sure she was sucking properly, the lactation consultant gave me the "new mom" breastfeeding speech, and my ob said that sometimes this happens.  Where were my gigantic porn star boobs filled with milk??? What happened??? My baby loved to nurse, but what little bit of milk we could get out of my breasts was not enough to fill her tummy.  I supplemented with herbs to increase milk supply and it helped very little.  But I continued to nurse, but had to follow each feeding with a bottle.  This went on for many months and my husband, ever so patient, continued to buy formula and would make sure our daughter was full with a bottle.   The fact that I couldn't even fill my daughters tummy just added to the depression that I felt over all of the other symptoms of the TL.  Yet, I didn't link it to the TL at first.  I thought maybe it had to do with having the csection, thinking major surgery might put a damper on making milk.  I asked God to just help me continue to have that close bonding time with my daughter even though I wasn't fully feeding her.  I later found information that a medical study proved that milk supply is reduced if a tubal is done after birth.  Just another thing that PTLS took away from me.

Long story short, I became snack food.  Never enough for a feed, but enough for comforting, for holding over until we got home to a bottle.  She didn't particularly love formula.  She didn't gain the same amount of weight that her siblings did.  But she loved to nurse.  I was her pacifier in the middle of the night.  Her comfort when she was sad or tired.  By the time she was 10 months old we were down to just occasionally nursing at night before bed.  She enjoyed just a few moments before being laid in the crib.  But not every night. I assumed that there must have been a few drops of milk to be had or else she would give up nursing entirely. 

At this point my tubal reversal was in the works, and my cycle was crazy and couldn't be counted on.  My doc likes to do the reversal on days 7-11 of  the cycle, so in order to plan he put me on monophasic birth control pills (estrogen).   I had told him about the breastfeeding issues when we talked about my PTLS symptoms.  He said that if there was any little bit on milk left it would dry up with the BC pills.  I do think my daughter noticed because she became disappointed when she did occasionally try to nurse.  Even the few drops she got were gone.  I figured that was ok since she was about to hit a year, and it wasn't like I was her food source anyway. 

Fast forward to the reversal.  All went great, had the reversal on a friday, and post op appointment the following day, and I was free to make the three hour drive home with my husband.  We got home about 1pm, I curled up in bed, took a pain pill and dozed.  I woke up at 6pm, got myself out of bed, and slowly made my way down the hallway to look for my family.  When I found them my oldest daughter said, "Oh mom, you spilled something on your shirt".  I looked down and my tshirt was soaked in the front.  I reached up and touched my shirt, feeling a little drugged from the pain pills, and I realized that my breasts were hard.  They were engorged.  They were filled with milk in a way that they never had after I had given birth.  I stood there shocked, confused, and in awe.  I looked to my husband and he said, "guess your hormones are working again."  I started to laugh.  If having a tubal didn't disturb your hormones, then why did this happen after getting it reversed? At this point, my tubes had been reversed for only 36 hours!

My husband suggested putting my daughter back to the breast to see if she would nurse, and she went right back to it like no time had lapsed.  For the first time in her life, she was able to fill her tummy with milk from me.  She was now 14 months old.  We spent the next month bonding, nursing, and snuggling in a way that we never did when she was tiny.  I felt so blessed that I was given a chance to experience something so special.  It is now 6 weeks (today!) post op, I feel great, my breasts are still full of milk, and my daughter is still nursing in the morning and at night.  I will wean soon enough, but right now I am enjoying this gift I've been given.

I had to put this up for others to read because after searching on the Internet I couldn't find any instance where a mom had milk come in after a TR.  Granted, I couldn't even find an instance where a mom was looking for a TR while still breastfeeding.  I know my tubes weren't tied long, and I know that my daughter was still nursing occasionally up until a month before my surgery.  But having milk come in bigger and better than after birth, amazed and delighted me.  Others will say it's biology, but I choose to think of it as my own little miracle brought about by a caring doctor and a tubal reversal.

It's a Sun Shiny Day...

I woke up this morning feeling wonderful, like all is right with the world.  I hopped out of bed, made pancakes for the kids, and got the oldest two off to school.  This sounds like it might be a normal day for a mom, but it wasn't too long ago that I didn't have the energy to even think about making pancakes.  When my kids woke up and saw that I had cooked for them they seemed shocked.  PTLS robs us of so many things, but I realized today that it had also robbed my children of the loving mother that they had before I made the mistake of having the tubal done.  I used to do so many things with my kids.  I love them more than anything in this world, but I literally checked out of their lives after the tubal.  I went through the motions, but I really wasn't there for them.  I was lucky that my husband was great with kids and he took over.  He was the primary caregiver for my youngest after she was born because I was in so much pain.  She bonded with him and still prefers daddy to mommy if she has a choice of who to be with.  It was if I was an outsider in my own family.  I would watch them playing in the backyard, but I didn't want to join.  It was like part of me just wasn't there anymore.  I think one of the best things to come out of my tubal reversal is that I finally feel like I am back in my own body.  I am able to look at my kids and really see them.  I laugh at their jokes.  I am present, and I don't want to miss a thing!

My story of PTLS

This is my first post one month after having tubal reversal surgery.  All I can say is how incredible I feel!  I had my tubes tied after the birth of my 4th child in December of 2009, during her csection. (Filshie Clips)  Side effects started immediately.  The first thing that I noticed was I was not making as much milk as I had with the other kids.  I  just had a child two years before and had not had any problems with milk supply.  I had actually breastfed him up to 18 months, stopped for two months and became pregnant with number 4.  But this baby had to have bottles to supplement with, despite pumping and taking milk enhancing supplements.  The next thing that I noticed was that I didn't have that happy peaceful feeling that I usually had during that post partum period.  I was full of anxiety, sure that something was going to happen to one of my children or my hubby.  When I went to my six week appointment, I talked to my doc about this and all he would do is send me to the psychology department.  By the time I got my appointment with them I also had my first period.  This blew me away because I had never had a period so soon after birth, and it was horrible and painful.  I attributed it to the csection since it was my first time not having a vaginal birth.  I also still had horrible pain on my right side and I had no idea if it was from the csection or from the tubal.  At the time, I didn't know that they had used filshie clips.  I was adamant that I didn't want anything foriegn left inside of me.  No clips or rings!  The psychologist said she didn't think it was post partum depression, and encouraged me to go back to the doctor and explain the pain.  When I went back to the gyno, complaining of pain by my right ovary, I told her that I was concerned that it was where they removed a peice of the tube for the ligation.  She told me that I was "stupid and didn't know where my ovaries were".  I was so embarassed and angry.  But I was also scared.  I was in pain and she wasn't listening.  The nurse was in the room when she said this, and she asked the doctor if an ultrasound was in order but the doc wouldn't do it.  Then she said she would give me a localized pain injection in  case of left over inflammation from the csection.  If it made me feel better, I could come back the next day for a second longer lasting dose.  The pain shot helped, but when I went to go back the next day she wouldn't see me anymore.  She passed me off the primary care doc.

The primary care doc was quite nice about it all.  He agreed to give me another shot for pain and I explained that I was afraid that it was where they had removed a piece of the tube.  He looked up my operative report and said he didn't think that was it.  (but again, didn't tell me why)  When he had me point out where I was hurting, he said he couldn't give me a pain injection too deep as it was right above my right ovary.  It felt great to know that I wasn't "stupid" after all.  The pain injection only lasted for a couple of days much to my disappointment.  He scheduled me for an ultrasound. 

By this point I was feeling horrible about the Tubal Ligation.  My periods were heavy and irregular.  I had horrible hot flashes, mood swings, anxiety and depression.   My hair was falling out, my nails were breaking way back into the nail bed.  But the weirdest thing was I had a rash on my back that itched like crazy.  Each time I would ask about these symptoms I was told they were all in my head.  I couldn't wear jewelry anymore without getting a rash.  I always had an allergy to nickle and that was why I didn't want to have any clips inside of me.  Then finally my periods stopped altogether.  I needed answers and fast. 

My ultrasound found nothing.   I had blood work done that was "unremarkable".  Then I kept having this nagging feeling that I needed a copy of my operative report.  I requested both the operative and pathology reports from my surgery.  When they could not find a pathology report, I knew that something was up.  When I got the copy of the operative report I found out that the doctor used filshie clips for the ligation.  I was sick.  There were metal clips in me that I couldn't do anything about.  Yet, I thought maybe it was a blessing.  I had already been looking into tubal reversal and had read on numerous sites that fishie clips were the easiest to reverse.  I didn't know what to feel at that point, but I was relieved to feel like I had an answer to my pain. 

On to the next gyno.  She believed me about the pain and said that women with all types of ligations complain of the same pain that I was describing.  (Where was that on the informed consent form?)  Her solution to my pain was to take out my fallopian tubes.  I was shocked.  How could causing more damage be a good thing?  She said it would be a four to six week recovery.  She ordered a CT scan just in case one of the clips came off and had migrated.  Great.  Another worry.  CT scan came out normal. 

By this point nine months had gone by and I had no more answers or relief.  I finally started another period and it was the most painful and intense period of my life.  It lasted twelve days and was unbelievably heavy.  I was wiped out and told my husband that I couldn't take anymore.  I finally sent my operative report off to the Center for Fertility and Gynecology in Tarzana California.  I had a phone consult with Dr. Marc Kalan.  He was compassionate and understanding.  This set my tubal reversal in motion. 

Waiting for the reversal was the hardest part.  Finally the last few months he put me on birth control pills which helped the pain during ovulation and slightly lessened the heavy flow. 

Finally, 14 months and two days after making the horrible mistake of having my tubes tied, I had the reversal surgery.  I woke up feeling peaceful, and the pain that I had been feeling since having the TL was gone.  I feel back to normal, anxiety is gone, I've had my first normal period since giving birth, and I can move without pain!

I am starting this blog to help other women realize that having your tubes tied is not what it is advertised to be.  And while I realize that there are many women happy with their tubals, there are many more who have horror stories like my own.  All women deserve informed consent, and a right to know what side effects they could have.