Oh where, oh where did my progesterone go? Tubal ligation and Low Progesterone...

After I had my tubal, I had a huge, no HUGE, hormonal upset.  My body freaked out.  I didn't understand it at the time, I thought I was going crazy.  But the reality was I was in hormone shock.  My progesterone levels had fallen and they couldn't get up.  The only "life alert" button my body had was to make me feel with full intensity that SOMETHING was WRONG that needed my full and complete attention NOW.  It was on the advice of a kind women on a message board that I tried natural progesterone cream.  Desperate, I bought the first cream that I found without looking anything else up.  I didn't have time.  I was drowning in hormonal imbalance, and I needed air (progesterone) fast.

The cream did seem to help me a little bit.  Then, I wanted to know why.  Research shows that when we are pregnant, progesterone increases up to 300% of our usual levels.  It is one of the hormones that help us maintain the pregnancy.  Then, after birth we have a sudden drop in our hormones, and it is that drop that ultimately causes those darn baby blues.   Once our hormone levels stabilize, we begin to feel more like our old selves.  Now, imagine having the baby blues that never go away.  It could be depression, but it could also be a sign that you are deficient in progesterone.  Many research studies show that women who have a tubal ligation will have decreased rates of progesterone production.  For some women this takes a year or more to stabilize, although never reaching their pre-sterilization levels.  Usually, they end up with only one third of the production that they used to have.  This has to do with the changes in blood flow to the ovaries.

Progesterone can help:

• Protect against breast, endometrial, and ovarian cancer.
• Normalizes libido
• Helps stop hair loss, and encourages regrowth
• Improves new bone formation
• Restores normal sleep patterns
• Helps thyroid function
• Relieves PMS

Progesterone works primarily by being the opposition to excess estrogen.  It helps to maintain the balance within the body.  And anyone who has had a tubal and is suffering from it with PTLS knows that you feel out of balance.  Many of the excess estrogen symptoms are the same as the list of PTLS symptoms.  Now, I am not saying that all everyone needs is some natural progesterone.  While it did help me with some of my symptoms, it really just made them easier to manage.  It didn't take them away.  At that point in my life, I was willing to take any help that I could get, and any relief was appreciated.  

Here is a link to the product that is reputable:












And if you would like it pre measured for you...














Please keep in mind, that I don't have stock in this company.  I am not trying to sell you anything.  I just want to let those of you know, who are waiting for a reversal and suffering, that this can help ease some of the problems that women encounter with a tubal ligation.  Ultimately, what helped me was my tubal reversal.  I am in awe at how good I feel.  And I am now making more progesterone again, but I still keep the cream on hand after finding out the benefits of having a balanced estrogen / progesterone ratio.  A great book to read is What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause by John R. Lee.
 I found out so much information in this book that really pertained to the hormonal issues that I was suffering with the TL.  It is written for those who are 30-50 years old, but it would be an interesting read for those of you who are younger.  I found my copy at the local library.  It is worth a read if you have the time.  Hope you all have a wonderful, hormonally balanced day.  Blessings :)

Let's Cut to the Chase....The Big Snip

You would not believe how many people asked me if my husband would get a vasectomy after I got my tubes reversed.  What do people think that by just being in the same room he will spontaneously impregnate me?  We have lots of running jokes about his super sperm, but really, vasectomy is going way too far.  And in case you didn't know, vasectomy is as hard on a man as tubal ligation is for a woman.  I won't go into details here, but men have Post Vasectomy Pain Syndrome.  It is very real and causes extreme pain and suffering.  Oddly enough, when they go to the doctor they are also told that it is "all in their heads".   It also changes their hormone levels, and testosterone drops off for the first year.  Many will go on to have issues with erectile dysfunction.  And half of all men who have a vasectomy never tell others because of feeling embarrassed and ashamed of having it done. So, if you are suffering from PTLS and are encouraging others to avoid tubal ligation, don't imply that their hubby should be the one to get the big snip.  Many men are pressured into vasectomy and are told to "man up" or "take one for the team".  Reality is our bodies are intricate and incredible.  They work best when all of the systems are working and that includes our reproductive organs.  Even those of us in long term relationships could do well to learn barrier methods and natural family planning.  Don't fix what isn't broke.  That's my motto from now on!

Take a look at:
www.dontfixit.org

My Tubal Reversal Surgery

I want to tell you what my tubal reversal surgery was like because most women are interested in what the surgery entails, and how much pain is involved as well as healing time. 

My reversal was scheduled on a Friday. The office was three hours away and my husband and I drove up a little early to check into the hotel and find our way around.  I had to be there the day before for a pre op appointment.  If I had lived closer, I could have come to that appointment ahead of time.  The doctor had me do some blood work, and then he did a vaginal ultrasound.  He made sure that everything looked ok, and that there would be no major surprises when he got inside the next day.  It was actually a really neat appointment.  He did the ultrasound on a big screen and I was able to see my uterus and ovaries in a way that I have never seen before.  You could even see the follicles on my ovaries.  Pretty cool if you ask me.  The doctor discussed the surgery with me, and answered all of my questions.  I told him that I was so excited to get this done, and he said, "I am so excited to do it for you."  I could tell he genuinely meant it.  Every one in the office seemed liked they loved their jobs.  And why shouldn't they?  They are helping women to create an new life, or at least make them feel like they are getting their life back.

The next day I had to arrive at an outpatient surgery center at 6am.  We stayed in a hotel just down the street so we were just minutes away.  I was so excited, but not really nervous because the doctor was so calm and reassuring at the pre op appointment.  They checked me in, and my hubby helped me get into a gown and into a hospital bed.  The nurse took my temperature, and blood pressure.  She started me on an antibiotic IV drip.  The next to come in was the anesthesiologist.  He asked a few questions and noted that I seemed really relaxed.  Everyone was there early and so surgery started a little earlier than my original 7:30 am scheduled time. 

Everyone seemed so happy and relaxed.  It wasn't at all like my csection.  And I didn't have any concern for a baby like you do during  a surgery for birth.  The nurse and anesthesiologist wheeled me down the hall, and they joked about each others hospital bed driving abilities.  My doctor walked in immediately and noticed my hand on my right side (where I had been hurting) and said," We're going to take care of that today".  He then told the staff that they were to save my filshie clips because I wanted to keep them.  He held his hands up to his ears and joked about how I wanted to make earrings out of the clips.  I laughed.  I felt good.  Relaxed to know that everyone looked to bright and cheery.  The anesthesiologist gave me something in the IV and said it would relax me.  I laughed and told him I was already relaxed.  They had me scoot over on the operating table, and put a mask on my face and told me to breathe.  That's the last I remember.

The next thing I know, I was hearing the nurse's voice saying my husband was coming in.  She asked if I was in pain, and there was a little bit of pain.  I said so and she gave me some Demerol.  I was groggy from the general anesthesia.  Once I woke up more, they helped me get dressed.  I was a little nauseous for a few minutes from the anesthesia, but it passed.  They put me in a wheelchair, and wheeled me to the car.  We went back to the hotel, and I took a couple of vicoden and some Motrin.  I was afraid of the walk from the car to the room, but it wasn't bad as long as I went slowly.  My husband helped me get into bed.  I laid there feeling so glad that it was finally over.  So relieved that the filshie clips were out.  My husband looked over at me and told me that I looked so content.  I felt content, and relieved. I watched a little bit of TV, and I was so hungry.  Even though I wasn't supposed to eat anything heavy, I had a gigantic sandwich!  I wasn't in hardly any pain, I could move around much better than after the csection.  It was really more of a soreness, kind of like you had been hit in the abdomen.  I was so surprised at how well I could move.  But here's the best part - the pain that I had lived with for 14 months, the pain that I felt even through pain killers and pain injections, was finally gone.  The reversal was the best choice that I could have made for myself.

The next day the doctor met me back at his office (on a sat!) so that I wouldn't have to come back for a post op visit.  We went over everything, and he said that the surgery went great.  Both tubes were open, he didn't find any surprises.  He gave me a little baggie with my filshie clips inside.  I was great to see them because then I knew for sure they were out!  My doctor said that I needed to avoid lifting anything over 15 pounds for 4 weeks, that I could have sex again at 2 weeks (if I felt up to it), and to just generally take it easy for the next couple of weeks.  He had me take an extra vicoden for the ride home so that I would stay comfortable.

We drove home and I wasn't in any pain.  I'm sure I would have been sore if it wasn't for the medication, but the pain pills kept me more than comfortable.  That being said, I was glad to be home, to crawl in my own bed and take a nap.  I slept for about 6 hours or so after arriving home, got up had some dinner and a shower and went back to bed.  The next week went by pretty fast.  I did nap a lot, and continued to take the pain meds, but around day 5 I just went to Motrin only.  By day 7, I was in the grocery store shopping for food, but others carried the bags to the car, and into the house.  By day 10 I felt fantastic! 

Right around this point I had signs of ovulation, and for the first time I didn't need to curl up in a ball and cry.  It was great.  A couple of weeks later I started my period, with no cramps, no heavy bleeding.  It was a normal cycle 4 days long.  I was so thrilled.  No more 10 day long heavy periods!  The only thing I noticed was that when I first started there was a little bit of burning pain equal on both sides right where I imagine my tubes were put back together.  It only lasted a minute and then it was gone.  A little weird, but that was right as I was starting, and maybe it was caused by a uterine contraction or something. 

A couple of days ago was the 6 week mark for me.  I still feel good.  My incision looks like I got a little scratch, I'm pain free, and I get to have great sex with the hubby again.  The anxiety is gone.  I have taken the kids to the park, and out for walks.  My sixth grader just went to camp this morning and that would have sent me into a panic attack a couple of months ago.  But now I know she'll have fun.  No worries.  All in all, it was a much easier experience than I had anticipated.  If you are considering having tubal reversal surgery, I wouldn't be worried about it too much.  Find a doctor you are comfortable with, who is experienced with the micro surgical repair of the fallopian tubes, and go for it!  I'm so glad I did. :)

Breastfeeding and Tubal Reversal

Ok, so I know you are reading the title and you are thinking, don't you mean breastfeeding and tubal ligation?  Nope.  Here's my story, it's a little weird, but true. (And pretty amazing to me!)

I gave birth to my daughter in December of 2009.  She is my fourth and I had breastfed all of the others with no problem what so ever.  If there was a problem, it was that I had more milk then my babies could possibly handle, and I always had to have pads in my bra.  My husband's running joke was that I wanted to feed not only our baby, but all of the hungry babies in the world.  Sometimes it was uncomfortable, but I liked knowing I could pump out a large bottle on a moments notice.  And I loved that I didn't have to buy formula.  And then the fourth was born by c-section, and I had the tubal done. 

The fourth was a hungry little baby.  A natural nurser straight away, she nursed, and nursed, and nursed.  I waited for the milk to come in, and when it did, it was shocking.  There really wasn't hardly any milk to be had.  Here I had this baby attached to my boobs constantly since birth, and there wasn't much milk.  It didn't make any sense.  The baby was checked to make sure she was sucking properly, the lactation consultant gave me the "new mom" breastfeeding speech, and my ob said that sometimes this happens.  Where were my gigantic porn star boobs filled with milk??? What happened??? My baby loved to nurse, but what little bit of milk we could get out of my breasts was not enough to fill her tummy.  I supplemented with herbs to increase milk supply and it helped very little.  But I continued to nurse, but had to follow each feeding with a bottle.  This went on for many months and my husband, ever so patient, continued to buy formula and would make sure our daughter was full with a bottle.   The fact that I couldn't even fill my daughters tummy just added to the depression that I felt over all of the other symptoms of the TL.  Yet, I didn't link it to the TL at first.  I thought maybe it had to do with having the csection, thinking major surgery might put a damper on making milk.  I asked God to just help me continue to have that close bonding time with my daughter even though I wasn't fully feeding her.  I later found information that a medical study proved that milk supply is reduced if a tubal is done after birth.  Just another thing that PTLS took away from me.

Long story short, I became snack food.  Never enough for a feed, but enough for comforting, for holding over until we got home to a bottle.  She didn't particularly love formula.  She didn't gain the same amount of weight that her siblings did.  But she loved to nurse.  I was her pacifier in the middle of the night.  Her comfort when she was sad or tired.  By the time she was 10 months old we were down to just occasionally nursing at night before bed.  She enjoyed just a few moments before being laid in the crib.  But not every night. I assumed that there must have been a few drops of milk to be had or else she would give up nursing entirely. 

At this point my tubal reversal was in the works, and my cycle was crazy and couldn't be counted on.  My doc likes to do the reversal on days 7-11 of  the cycle, so in order to plan he put me on monophasic birth control pills (estrogen).   I had told him about the breastfeeding issues when we talked about my PTLS symptoms.  He said that if there was any little bit on milk left it would dry up with the BC pills.  I do think my daughter noticed because she became disappointed when she did occasionally try to nurse.  Even the few drops she got were gone.  I figured that was ok since she was about to hit a year, and it wasn't like I was her food source anyway. 

Fast forward to the reversal.  All went great, had the reversal on a friday, and post op appointment the following day, and I was free to make the three hour drive home with my husband.  We got home about 1pm, I curled up in bed, took a pain pill and dozed.  I woke up at 6pm, got myself out of bed, and slowly made my way down the hallway to look for my family.  When I found them my oldest daughter said, "Oh mom, you spilled something on your shirt".  I looked down and my tshirt was soaked in the front.  I reached up and touched my shirt, feeling a little drugged from the pain pills, and I realized that my breasts were hard.  They were engorged.  They were filled with milk in a way that they never had after I had given birth.  I stood there shocked, confused, and in awe.  I looked to my husband and he said, "guess your hormones are working again."  I started to laugh.  If having a tubal didn't disturb your hormones, then why did this happen after getting it reversed? At this point, my tubes had been reversed for only 36 hours!

My husband suggested putting my daughter back to the breast to see if she would nurse, and she went right back to it like no time had lapsed.  For the first time in her life, she was able to fill her tummy with milk from me.  She was now 14 months old.  We spent the next month bonding, nursing, and snuggling in a way that we never did when she was tiny.  I felt so blessed that I was given a chance to experience something so special.  It is now 6 weeks (today!) post op, I feel great, my breasts are still full of milk, and my daughter is still nursing in the morning and at night.  I will wean soon enough, but right now I am enjoying this gift I've been given.

I had to put this up for others to read because after searching on the Internet I couldn't find any instance where a mom had milk come in after a TR.  Granted, I couldn't even find an instance where a mom was looking for a TR while still breastfeeding.  I know my tubes weren't tied long, and I know that my daughter was still nursing occasionally up until a month before my surgery.  But having milk come in bigger and better than after birth, amazed and delighted me.  Others will say it's biology, but I choose to think of it as my own little miracle brought about by a caring doctor and a tubal reversal.

Getting the word out...

When I had my first consultation with my tubal reversal doctor, I told him that I regretted my tubal ligation with every ounce of my being.  I spoke of it being the biggest mistake of my life, and told him clearly how miserable it had made my existence on this earth.  After listening quietly to everything I was telling him, he asked such a simple question,  "How were you talked into this procedure?  What did people say to make you think you had to be sterilized?"

Wow.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I wasn't sure I could even answer him.  There were so many factors that I didn't know how to sum it all up.  And quite honestly, even I was wondering just how I was talked into something that I swore I would never do.

There were so many personal factors.  My husband and I were surprised by our 4th pregnancy.  I will never say she was an accident, because every child is a gift from God, but she was definitely unplanned.  As the months went by and the pregnancy progressed, I became more and more uncomfortable.  I had gestational diabetes, she was a big baby, and I had the belly and the backache to prove it.  My hubby started saying, "This is never happening again.  One of us is getting snipped."  I blew it off thinking that sterilization was extreme.  A permanent solution to a temporary problem.  After all, I was 38 and I figured that I didn't have too many more reproductive years left.  Family and friends also began making the push.  They would make rude comments about having four children.  I heard how I was overpopulating the earth, how there were surgeries to "fix" this kind of thing, and the ever popular "if it was me I would kill myself."  I was able to blow it off for most of the pregnancy.

And then the financial crisis hit.  My husband works in the construction industry, and work simply just disappeared.  We went through our savings, and retirement and there was a baby on the way.  He panicked
and so did I.  He pushed again for sterilization.  I finally agreed that if I had a csection I would have my tubes tied, otherwise a vaginal birth meant he was getting the snip.  When I made this agreement it was with the knowledge that I had normal vaginal births with all of my other big babies.  In my mind, it wasn't going to be me.  I never thought anything more about it. 

My doctor asked again and again at every visit, if I was ready to have my tubes tied.  Finally, eight months pregnant, and exhausted I gave in and signed the papers simply to shut him up about it.  But I was clear, and it was in my file, only with a csection, and NO foreign objects! (Rings or Clips).   He insisted that at my "advanced maternal age" that it was the way to go.  I would never notice a difference.  All the fun of sex without the worry.  And then he added, "after all, hasn't your body been through enough with four kids?  Don't you DESERVE to have your tubes tied?"  Hmm...good sales pitch.

Then another sad event really effected me.  My sister and I were pregnant at the same time.  She was carrying her third child and was so excited to be pregnant.  It had taken her years to conceive.  Unfortunately she lost the baby and it was devastating to her.  I tried to be strong, but it was devastating to me too.  I started to worry that I would lose mine as well.  I told myself that if I could just get through the pregnancy that it was probably for the best if we stopped having children.  I didn't want to experience that kind of devastating loss.  I didn't think I had it in me.  But I still wasn't set on sterilization.  There was time to think about it.  After all, he wouldn't be having it done until after the baby was born, and maybe then we would change our minds.  There was time. 

But there wasn't time.  I required a csection, and since I had signed the consent forms the doctor asked if I still wanted to have it done.  My husband smiled and nodded when the doctor asked.  I felt I had no choice.  It was our agreement.  It was probably for the best.  It wasn't what I wanted, but it was what everyone expected me to do.  I was so tired.  I couldn't think.  I had already been given something to relax me, and I agreed.  I even remember making a joke about getting a dog if I wanted more kids.  The pain relief for the csection wasn't working well and I was intermittently feeling what they were doing.  Some spots were numb, and others weren't.  It was awful.  The first moment I saw my daughter, I wanted to stop the ligation.  But I was in so much pain, and so drugged, it seemed like the blink of an eye and they were done.  They never announced that they were doing the tubal, nor did they ask me again.  It was too late.  I told myself later that I would just have to live with it.

Just days after she was born, I sat crying in the bathroom wondering how I could be so stupid to make such a horrible mistake.  I couldn't explain it to others.  There was this deep sense of hurt and loss.  But there was very real physical pain as well.  As weeks went by, I waited for the physical pain to stop.  I knew that the emotional pain was my own dragon that I had to slay.  And I started thinking again, "How did I get talked into this?" 

I went back over the literature that I was given.  It was made to seem like it was such a simple and easy procedure.  The consent form said the risk was from anesthesia, that it was permanent, and that there was a risk of ectopic pregnancy.  That's it.  I thought about what the doctor said, and how I would never notice any difference.  And yet, I had low mik supply for my baby, my hormones were insane, and I had intense anxiety that I had never had before.  Worst of all, was this horrible stabbing pain in my right ovary.  I began to look up on the Internet and read about ptls.  I felt tricked, duped, like my doc had pulled a fast one and was laughing behind my back.  If I was already feeling bad, this made things ten times worse.  No one had every mentioned the physical complications, let alone the emotional ones.  How did I get talked into this??  How stupid could I have been?? 

My husband repeatedly told me he was sorry.  He didn't know.  How was he supposed to know?  I had looked up tubal ligation on the Internet, but it said the same things that my pamphlets said.  Permanent, non hormonal, slight chance of ectopic pregnancy, freedom from birth control.  It was just the side effects that they failed to mention.  I was angry.  If anyone had mentioned any of the side effects to me I would have run for the hills.  NO way, NO how, could you have talked me into a tubal knowing what I know about them now. 

So, I began researching and found alot of really interesting information about the careful wording about sterilization, and how women are encouraged to get it done.  So, I did the only thing that I thought would make me feel better.  I wrote about it.  If I could change one woman's mind, then it will be worth all my typing!  Check out my article at associated content:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/7892272/selling_sterilization.html?cat=52

And while your at it, check out a really great blog about ptls, by someone who has also lived to tell the tale of suffering from a TL.  Thankfully, she has also had a reversal and has started a new chapter in her life! She has a great video blog that you have to check out as well.
http://fittobeuntiedposttubaligationsyndrome.blogspot.com/2011_03_01_archive.html

It's a Sun Shiny Day...

I woke up this morning feeling wonderful, like all is right with the world.  I hopped out of bed, made pancakes for the kids, and got the oldest two off to school.  This sounds like it might be a normal day for a mom, but it wasn't too long ago that I didn't have the energy to even think about making pancakes.  When my kids woke up and saw that I had cooked for them they seemed shocked.  PTLS robs us of so many things, but I realized today that it had also robbed my children of the loving mother that they had before I made the mistake of having the tubal done.  I used to do so many things with my kids.  I love them more than anything in this world, but I literally checked out of their lives after the tubal.  I went through the motions, but I really wasn't there for them.  I was lucky that my husband was great with kids and he took over.  He was the primary caregiver for my youngest after she was born because I was in so much pain.  She bonded with him and still prefers daddy to mommy if she has a choice of who to be with.  It was if I was an outsider in my own family.  I would watch them playing in the backyard, but I didn't want to join.  It was like part of me just wasn't there anymore.  I think one of the best things to come out of my tubal reversal is that I finally feel like I am back in my own body.  I am able to look at my kids and really see them.  I laugh at their jokes.  I am present, and I don't want to miss a thing!

My story of PTLS

This is my first post one month after having tubal reversal surgery.  All I can say is how incredible I feel!  I had my tubes tied after the birth of my 4th child in December of 2009, during her csection. (Filshie Clips)  Side effects started immediately.  The first thing that I noticed was I was not making as much milk as I had with the other kids.  I  just had a child two years before and had not had any problems with milk supply.  I had actually breastfed him up to 18 months, stopped for two months and became pregnant with number 4.  But this baby had to have bottles to supplement with, despite pumping and taking milk enhancing supplements.  The next thing that I noticed was that I didn't have that happy peaceful feeling that I usually had during that post partum period.  I was full of anxiety, sure that something was going to happen to one of my children or my hubby.  When I went to my six week appointment, I talked to my doc about this and all he would do is send me to the psychology department.  By the time I got my appointment with them I also had my first period.  This blew me away because I had never had a period so soon after birth, and it was horrible and painful.  I attributed it to the csection since it was my first time not having a vaginal birth.  I also still had horrible pain on my right side and I had no idea if it was from the csection or from the tubal.  At the time, I didn't know that they had used filshie clips.  I was adamant that I didn't want anything foriegn left inside of me.  No clips or rings!  The psychologist said she didn't think it was post partum depression, and encouraged me to go back to the doctor and explain the pain.  When I went back to the gyno, complaining of pain by my right ovary, I told her that I was concerned that it was where they removed a peice of the tube for the ligation.  She told me that I was "stupid and didn't know where my ovaries were".  I was so embarassed and angry.  But I was also scared.  I was in pain and she wasn't listening.  The nurse was in the room when she said this, and she asked the doctor if an ultrasound was in order but the doc wouldn't do it.  Then she said she would give me a localized pain injection in  case of left over inflammation from the csection.  If it made me feel better, I could come back the next day for a second longer lasting dose.  The pain shot helped, but when I went to go back the next day she wouldn't see me anymore.  She passed me off the primary care doc.

The primary care doc was quite nice about it all.  He agreed to give me another shot for pain and I explained that I was afraid that it was where they had removed a piece of the tube.  He looked up my operative report and said he didn't think that was it.  (but again, didn't tell me why)  When he had me point out where I was hurting, he said he couldn't give me a pain injection too deep as it was right above my right ovary.  It felt great to know that I wasn't "stupid" after all.  The pain injection only lasted for a couple of days much to my disappointment.  He scheduled me for an ultrasound. 

By this point I was feeling horrible about the Tubal Ligation.  My periods were heavy and irregular.  I had horrible hot flashes, mood swings, anxiety and depression.   My hair was falling out, my nails were breaking way back into the nail bed.  But the weirdest thing was I had a rash on my back that itched like crazy.  Each time I would ask about these symptoms I was told they were all in my head.  I couldn't wear jewelry anymore without getting a rash.  I always had an allergy to nickle and that was why I didn't want to have any clips inside of me.  Then finally my periods stopped altogether.  I needed answers and fast. 

My ultrasound found nothing.   I had blood work done that was "unremarkable".  Then I kept having this nagging feeling that I needed a copy of my operative report.  I requested both the operative and pathology reports from my surgery.  When they could not find a pathology report, I knew that something was up.  When I got the copy of the operative report I found out that the doctor used filshie clips for the ligation.  I was sick.  There were metal clips in me that I couldn't do anything about.  Yet, I thought maybe it was a blessing.  I had already been looking into tubal reversal and had read on numerous sites that fishie clips were the easiest to reverse.  I didn't know what to feel at that point, but I was relieved to feel like I had an answer to my pain. 

On to the next gyno.  She believed me about the pain and said that women with all types of ligations complain of the same pain that I was describing.  (Where was that on the informed consent form?)  Her solution to my pain was to take out my fallopian tubes.  I was shocked.  How could causing more damage be a good thing?  She said it would be a four to six week recovery.  She ordered a CT scan just in case one of the clips came off and had migrated.  Great.  Another worry.  CT scan came out normal. 

By this point nine months had gone by and I had no more answers or relief.  I finally started another period and it was the most painful and intense period of my life.  It lasted twelve days and was unbelievably heavy.  I was wiped out and told my husband that I couldn't take anymore.  I finally sent my operative report off to the Center for Fertility and Gynecology in Tarzana California.  I had a phone consult with Dr. Marc Kalan.  He was compassionate and understanding.  This set my tubal reversal in motion. 

Waiting for the reversal was the hardest part.  Finally the last few months he put me on birth control pills which helped the pain during ovulation and slightly lessened the heavy flow. 

Finally, 14 months and two days after making the horrible mistake of having my tubes tied, I had the reversal surgery.  I woke up feeling peaceful, and the pain that I had been feeling since having the TL was gone.  I feel back to normal, anxiety is gone, I've had my first normal period since giving birth, and I can move without pain!

I am starting this blog to help other women realize that having your tubes tied is not what it is advertised to be.  And while I realize that there are many women happy with their tubals, there are many more who have horror stories like my own.  All women deserve informed consent, and a right to know what side effects they could have.